top of page

Why Narcissistic Abuse is So Damaging

Updated: Jan 10, 2022

Being in a relationship with a Narcissist is emotionally harmful. When someone invalidates your experiences, thoughts, and feelings you are being subjected to emotional abuse. Every time you attempt to tell him about your feelings you will be met with statements that leave you feeling confused and hurt. The narcissist will never address their behaviours or wrong doings. They will simply minimise your feelings and bait you into circular conversations and accuse you of the wrong doing and turn the conversation around and play the victim.

When I look back and contemplate the genesis of my chronic self-doubt, I recognise that the narcissist’s response telling me that I shouldn’t feel the way that I felt repeatedly, was where it all began. I was told a million times that I was making a big deal out of nothing, overreacting, too sensitive or better still, had something seriously wrong with my brain. Whether the narcissist is your boss, your mother or your life partner, their behaviour will be the same.

Narcissistic invalidation is the assault and negation of all that makes you, you. This causes an insidious erosion to identity so often cited in the narcissistic abuse recovery community. It's also compounded by isolation which comes with living through a narcissist's web of manipulation.

The narcissist is someone with a lack of empathy, and they are highly self-centred. They have trouble forming deep relationships because their main focus in life, is themselves.

Additionally, the narcissistic personality has other characteristics that prohibit them from having meaningful connections like being exploitative or arrogant. They see themselves as entitled to negate and invalidate your feelings, views and needs.

They are masters of projection or blame shifting.

In a narcissist's eyes, they are entitled to your resources (time, money, energy and family), but when you refuse them or say that you can't give them what they want it is perceived as an attack.

They will use various manipulation and abuse tactics like name calling, mocking, bullying, triangulation, minimizing, character defamation, berating feelings, obscuring the issue, deflecting, gaslighting, guilt-tripping, provoking, unreasonable criticism, nitpicking, or plain verbal abuse all to make you feel bad and give into their demands.

Finally, the narcissist will resort to character defamation - making false claims against your reputation with little proof. For example: accusing you of things without any evidence as well as slanderous remarks. Using this tactic will cause their victims to be afraid to expose the abuse, and ultimately suffer further damage. This continued abuse leaves you full of doubt and scared to make a decision on your own.

You can confront the narcissist, but my recommendation would be to begin removing yourself from the relationship or situation as you do not deserve to be with someone who is destroying you. Get off the abuse merry go round and his name calling. You don't have to listen to comments like, "you're a man hater", "you're too sensitive", "you're crazy", or "you're sick in the head". Sound familiar?

You end up feeling lost and empty...beaten down and lacking in the confidence to make decisions. It is not your fault and the more you know and learn about narcissistic abuse and remove yourself from the narcissist’s orbit – the healthier and happier you will be.

Want to learn more?

  1. Enroll in our online course, "Identifying the Narcissist"

291 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All
bottom of page