While narcissists have normal intellectual development, they remain emotionally and morally immature. Dealing with them can give you a sense of trying to have a reasonable discussion with a 6-year-old child. This is an age when normal children are very resistant to taking the blame for their own misbehaviour. They understand what the rules are (e.g., that lying, cheating, and stealing are prohibited) but are still trying to wriggle out of accepting any accountability for their actions.
Narcissism is an extreme form of emotional immaturity. An emotionally mature person is able to grow and learn. Narcissism stunts emotional growth. The narcissist will lie with ease which is a trait of small children. They will resort to lying to stay out of trouble in an uncomfortable situation. They will sulk, pout, scream or shout in any situation they feel uncomfortable in. This will likely include situations in which you express your emotions, particularly if those emotions fall into the ones perceived as “negative”, that is anger or sadness.
Like small children, emotionally immature narcissistic adults will resort to shifting blame and name-calling and stonewalling when a situation is above their ability to understand, empathize, or is outside their interests.
The narcissist will always put his needs and wants before yours. He is not satisfied unless his own needs are being met. He will spend money on things that aren't needed, but things he enjoys. He buys things for the purpose of making himself feel and look successful. Narcissists believe that they are entitled to anything they want, period. Wanting to sleep with dozens of women, is something they are entitled to do, in their minds.
They may physically admire themselves in the mirror and be excessively obsessed with their own bodies, with their weight, their good looks, fashion, clothing, and style. In a word they feel entitled.
The narcissist shows little or no emotion or empathy. Narcissists can't stand being around emotional people. Showing a lot of emotions will cause conflict between you and the narcissist. They will think that you are weak and will run from you. When someone is hurting, he doesn't feel it. He is not capable of putting himself in anyone's shoes. A narcissist may even appear to be joyful by hearing others bad news. If it's not physically hurting him, he can't feel it.
The narcissist are control freaks. He will want to control everything in your life- he will pedantically insist you stack the dishwasher his way or make comment on how you screw the lid on the toothpaste. He will comment on what you look like, where you go and who you talk to. He will constantly try to make you change to fit what he wants you to be. He will also drill you on even your regular daily activities. He wants to know and be in control of everything.
And finally the narcissist never really loves anyone, but himself. Some believe that narcissists aren't capable of loving others at all. They pretend to love. A narcissist feels love physically, not emotionally. This is why they are always searching for new partners. A narcissist shows his love through sex, gifts and paying the bills. He believes this is all it takes to show love. If you stay with a narcissist for too long, you will forget what real love is.
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